


A pretty theft

by Worldsinwords



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Comedy, Diakko, Dianakko, F/F, Hana's birthday fic, Medieval AU, bad humour, birthday fic, charoix is also mentioned but briefly, mainly from Akko, most people get a mention here and there, princess!Diana, puns, thief!Akko, travelling entertainer!Akko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 08:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11551617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worldsinwords/pseuds/Worldsinwords
Summary: “The person that makes the princess laugh gets her hand in marriage.” That along with another reason is why Princess Diana never laughed. However, in one fateful night in the flower garden, a girl called Akko Kagari decides to make it her mission to maker her laugh.





	A pretty theft

Princess Diana Cavendish doesn’t have time for jokes. In fact, she thinks that jokes are a waste of her time. However here she is, sitting on her throne, jesters across all nations playing and dancing in her court with a new heir or prince or knight in the middle, delivering the funniest things that make everyone laugh. Everyone but her. She doesn’t have the right to laugh, she doesn’t have the freedom to laugh.

Ever since she was young, ever since her parents died in a fatal accident, ever since her Aunt Daryl came to the throne, Diana never laughed. She didn’t find any reason to, life wasn’t funny, it was cruel. Her face was always stoic, her smile was a rarity, the memories of a happy young girl laughing inside the castle walls became a distant echo. Soon it got to the point where her aunt Daryl sent a secret proclamation.

“The person that makes the princess laugh gets her hand in marriage.”

Diana of course, was furious that she wasn’t even aware of the proclamation herself before it was announced and that she only found out from her ladies in waiting. After a night’s worth of talking, arguments and disagreements both Diana and Daryl came to a compromise. The proclamation will still continue however, Diana will make it even harder for her to laugh. The smiles became less frequent and her expressive nature slowly drifted away after every failed attempt every suitor gave. Diana quickly became the impossible task and soon the number of suitors decreased from 100 per month to one or two every blue moon. Diana was infamous as the princess who never laughs. Thankfully, that was going to change in the near future when a certain travelling act, one called ‘Shiny Chariots’ with one very special laughing girl, came to her kingdom.

**/-/**

Atsuko Kagari or Akko for short wasn’t much of a funny person but she lived a comedic life. Life kept her on her toes and left her in so many dangerous situations growing up that many say she is visits death door monthly just to laugh at its face. Her birth parents were apparently lost in a forest fire that she escaped from because she was washed downstream when she crawled into the washing basket hours before the fire. When the basket was washed up on the shore, wolves went to circle her but she was saved when a brown bear erupted from the river with trout in its mouth and they all left in fear as the bear’s owner and long time friend, travelling entertainer Chariot Du Nord sprang from the water as well.

From there she was part of the travelling unit of ‘Shiny Chariots’ and survived and laughed  about the many death defying scenarios she encountered for example, running from a mountain of snakes because the local healer, now travelling companion wanted to get a egg, sneaking into an high class party just because her friend wanted to meet the infamous bard who played over 365 songs, trying to tame and fail a wild mustang the locals called ‘Shooting Star’, giving self-confidence to a ‘yeti’ in the tundras, falling and climbing the ropes in her trapeze act and her tightrope act.

She became renowned as the laughing thief who conquered death, laughing because she is rarely without a smile a thief because she has stolen their hearts with her acts and sometimes if her fellow companion Amanda dares her to, she sneaks into rich places to take minor trinkets that they wouldn’t miss. Which would explain why she was sneaking into the palace walls at night to steal a few mushrooms and plants for Sucy, the healer because Amanda dared her to.

“Take a few nothing more,” Akko whispered to herself as she lands over the palace walls and into the royal gardens. Her hood was up, fingers gloved as she pulled a half mask over her mouth and the bridge of her nose. They were going to stay in this kingdom for a few years maybe, her mentor, mother and group leader Chariot met an old flame of her, an eccentric inventor called Croix Meridies so she needs to make sure she lives long enough for the wedding that’s going to happen eventually. She was certain they would get together, she betted money on it after all and she didn’t want to lose to Amanda again. Getting caught stealing, even a mushroom from the crown of all places was liable enough for death.

She reached the flower beds, hiding within the branches of the oak tree as she marvels at the flowers. They were beautiful and Akko was thankful that Amanda didn’t mention flowers because those were too precious, too valuable to go unnoticed if she took some for the dare. Lost in admiration for the flowers, Akko failed to notice the footsteps below her and if she wasn’t hugging so tightly to the branches already she might’ve fallen over and got caught.

Akko watched in awe, jaw dropping, slight red burning her cheeks as the moonlight illuminates the human beauty in front of her. Golden curled locks rest on her shoulders, her stance regal and perfect, she looked like an angel wearing that beautiful blue dress. What she didn’t realise it was princess Diana out on her nightly strolls.  

Diana looked to the side, ocean blue eyes gazing wistfully at the bed of roses near her and Akko’s face falls at the crestfallen curve her lips are in. She looks so sad. For some reason, it doesn’t feel right for this stranger to be this sad. Akko gulps, throwing caution to the wind as she falls down to the bottom of the tree, unfortunately, she misplaced a step in her haste to go down leaving her face first, limbs outstretched on the ground when the girl turns to her.  

Diana blinks back a shocked face as she stares at her, “How did you get here?” she asks instead of calling the guards or the Watchmen. Akko lifts her head up, her hood falling over as she sits up, hand scratching the back of her neck as the other hand pulls down her mask. “The floor looked lonely so I decided to give it a hug,” she laughed nervously as she helped herself up. “The real reason though was that you looked so sad so I decided to see if you can cheer you.”

Diana stares at her, noting the obvious thief attire but a thin empty bag that she carried. “Are you sure it’s not to steal something?” She asks, Akko freezing momentarily as she gives an uneasy smile. Diana’s face goes colder, her face growing stern as Akko sighs, nodding in all honesty. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t call the guards on you.”

“I haven’t stolen anything!” Akko says hurriedly, opening her satchel to prove her case, however, Diana wasn’t too impressed, she was about to open her mouth to call the guards for trespassers but Akko beat her to it. “I just saw you looking so sad and wanted to cheer you up and maybe make you laugh or smile.”

Diana closed her mouth at her final words, though her face was stoic inside she was holding a bitter smile. She hasn’t smiled or laughed in years, she hadn’t had a suitor to try his or her luck in months. It was hopeless. This girl’s actions, whatever she had planned was hopeless. She sighed pity for this random stranger overcoming the logic to arrest her. “You do know that it’s useless?”

“What?” The girl objects, her cheeks puffing out, “No way! I’m going to make you laugh!”

She looks at the girl, straight into her red eyes as she shoots her down before she even tries, “The best jesters, bards and jokers in the kingdom all tried, it’s best for you to leave and not bother.”

Instead of sorrow, she was surprised to see fiery determination spark in her eyes. “Well, you haven’t heard of the laughing thief extraordinaire, the master of death Akko Kagari have you?” She grinned, doing small flips and extravagant hand gestures to exaggerate her point. “I’m going to find the best jokes and the best funny stories, even better than any joker or jester or bard has to make you laugh, I’ll fight a massive fire breathing chicken monster again for them!”

Diana stares at this girl, disbelief in her mind as it registers the word again in that bold declaration. She isn’t even aware of the proclamation, commoners let alone foreigners that weren’t the nobilities would no nothing of what her aunt promised. A sense of guilt swarmed in her stomach from the fact that this stranger, this Akko Kagari was going to waste time on her for a thing she can never do. “You are aware that this is an impossible task right?”

“So was running from the chicken monster but I proved them wrong,” Akko laughed as she stood up,”So I can prove you wrong…”

“Diana.”

“Eh? As in princess Diana?” Akko asked, mouth open in slight shock. Diana nods her head, surprised once more that the girl wasn’t intimidated by her title. In fact, apart from the initial shock, she quickly bounced back to her excited happy nature. “Well then, I need to find the best unless I want to make a royal ass out of myself,” she grins as she looks up to the sky. “Would you mind if I come a few nights a week to try my luck, princess? I won’t steal anything I swear.”

Diana looks at her, “Would you still do it if I said no?” Instantly Akko nods her head making Diana sigh again. What was the harm in letting a stranger try after so many months since the last attempt? Besides, the girl will stop after a few months of failed attempts, they always do. “Very well, as long as nothing is stolen from the gardens you can try and humour me.”

Akko smiles at her, bowing dramatically with a smile still on her face. “Till tomorrow night M'lady, get ready a private show from the acclaimed master of death and to laugh like there is no tomorrow.”

She stood up, a smile on her face as she scales the walls again, unaware of the small effect she had on the princess of a curious but very very small hint or a twitch of a smile. “This, will be interesting,” she murmurs to herself as she walks around the flower beds once more.

**/-/**

True to her word, Akko has been visiting Diana at night, several times a week to make her laugh but not just for a few months no Akko wouldn’t be Akko if she gave up that quickly. She turned those months to a year, then another year then to as many years as possible as Chariot decided to settle the group and retire in Diana’s kingdom so that she can stay with her new wife Croix but she still supervised the new acts that were happening especially since Akko was the new star of the group.

The first year was terrible, there wasn’t a single change to Diana at all, no hint of a smile let alone laughter but Akko still persevered. However, that year still held some merit, she managed to meet Diana’s ladies in waiting, Hannah and Barbara and made them laugh as she retold her failed attempts at walking the tightrope and how she fell several times on the trapeze. Also although Diana would never admit it, Akko warmed a small place in her heart and despite the fact she couldn’t make her laugh or smile, Diana found her excitable presence to be comforting. It’s only at the end of the year Diana realised why, Akko treated her more like a friend than a princess, Diana never made a friend outside of the castle walls before.

The second year was better because no matter how many times Diana would deny it with tints of pink on her cheeks, Akko swore she saw the corner of her lips twitch when she retold the story of the fire breathing monster chicken she encountered in her journey. Not to mention, Akko managed to invite Diana, Hannah and Barbara to the final grand show of Chariot Du Nord before she gets married and becomes Chariot Meridies-Du Nord along with the first solo act of Akko Kagari, the new star of Shiny Chariots. Diana didn’t laugh, she will admit but never tell that she had a small smile on her face when she checked the mirror that night in her room.

By the time it was the third year, Akko’s face along with a few others of the group was familiar with the staff of the castle, in fact, Akko was allowed to go to most places in the castle without trouble thanks to her growing closeness with Diana. Akko still didn’t give up on making Diana laugh and she was still unaware of the consequences of it because Diana forbid any of them telling the members of Shiny Chariots. Her humour, however, changed slightly, from puns to exaggerated stories, knock knock jokes to long build up stories with brilliant punchlines back to puns and silly pranks on Amanda and other people in the castle. The staff didn’t mind that much despite cleaning up the mess for Diana became more expressive ever since Akko came around and for that, they were eternally grateful to see some emotion in their princess once again.

Which is it lead them to be out in the flower garden, in broad daylight with Diana eating under the oak tree, Akko climbing all over it and Diana rolling her eyes as Akko made the old classic chicken joke. Akko looked at her Diana’s lap where her lunch sat, a smirk on her face as she decided to dangle upside down near Diana’s face. “Why do the melons  _have_  to go to get married? They cantaloupe!”

“Akko, you only know that word because of me,” Diana says with a bit of a snark and without her knowing a small, happy smile. Akko’s grin grows wider at the biggest thing she accomplished, a smile. However, she won’t mention it remembering last time she told Diana she had some sort of positive reaction to her jokes and besides Diana had a nice smile, even it was small for now and Akko wanted to see how long can she cherish the view of it.

So instead, Akko uses her excited happy energy to move along to the next joke she had planned, maybe she can make it grow bigger. “Say…” She begins as she takes out a small flower, a purple violet from her pocket and waves it in Diana’s face. “What would you call a princess who got swept up in conversation with a thief?”

Diana follows the flower before she recognises the meaning of it, she rolls her eyes her smile growing just a bit more. It’s a joke involving her, this was something new and for once Diana was interested and curious for the punchline. “I don’t know Akko?” she admits, ready for the horrible pun Akko would deliver. “What?”

Akko grinned, “A pretty theft!” She exclaimed, tickling the flower petal against’s Diana’s nose.

Diana froze in the moment, stunned, out of all the puns she prepared for, she had no defences for a pun to compliment her. She’s been complimented a million times before,  _beautiful_  from various suitors,  _graceful_ from her private tutors,  _amazing_  by the staff of the castle. Once upon a time, she was called  _wonderful_ by her mother.

Never before has Diana been called  _pretty_.

From pure disbelief, Diana laughs at the common folk compliment. She laughs aloud as the word rolls around in her mind. It was as if she was some sort of milkmaid who grew up to be good looking! The notion was nothing but  _ridiculous_ , yet somehow it left her blushing and laughing all the same.

Then, Diana stops, mind registering on what she just was done. This is the first time she laughed, in  _years._

Her hands fly to her mouth, in some futile attempt to cover up what happened as she just stares at Akko, her face darkening red as she realised she’s going to marry her soon. Akko stares back, dark red slowly speckling her cheeks as she stares, mouth open in awe. The violet is tilted to Diana in its own flower way of showing amazement.

“Wow….” Akko breaths, before she thought the sounds of the crowd’s reaction to her acts was the best sounds in the world but nothing, absolutely _nothing_ can sound more beautiful than what she just heard seconds ago.

“Diana!” Hannah calls, hearing her friend’s laugh once again after so long before she stops at the distance, hand outstretched to stop Barbara who was following behind from interfering such a precious moment. Akko and Diana were just staring at each other, faces matching with the colour of crimson, revelling in what just happened. Diana’s ladies in waiting looks at each other and grin out of happiness because Diana finally found the one. If Akko wasn’t aware of the proclamation, she sure would now, they would make sure of it.

The wedding that happened months later was a beautiful grand wedding, full of flowers as a nod to the pun that made it all happened. The Shiny Chariot’s performed for them like how they did for Chariot’s wedding and Daryl was all in tears as they kissed on the altar, happy that her sister’s daughter found someone who made her happy like all those years ago.

Diana’s laughs were still rare, she smiled more often though, not every day but there was always a small smile when she walks under the oak tree of the flower garden. If you were lucky, very very  _very_ lucky you would hear it. It all depends if Akko, her wife gave a well-timed joke then maybe, just maybe you would hear the princess’s laugh.


End file.
